Today I feel I failed for our motherhood unity.
Our little squidge has his final settling in session at nursery, six hours he is there for. I walked out feeling like I was missing my right arm, what did I use to do pre baby?- unfortunately I am full to busting with a cold and have little energy to do anything but move from the sofa and eat caramel snack a jacks.
I dropped him off at 9am and whilst I was walking out there was a mum with her little cub, dropping him off for the first time. He looked about six months old. His mum, a lioness, was in bits, her heart and head were clearly being tested and she was struggling.
In my flu like state, feeling miserable as my little bear was in floods of tears I glanced at her, gave her a knowing smile and then I left. I got back home and felt that I failed. Why didn’t I just hug her? Why didn’t I say I was feeling the same, why didn’t I ask her if she wanted to go for a coffee?
Had I been by myself on Archie’s first settling in day, I too probably would have broken down and a hug, a conversation, a coffee would have made it easier.
Mama I am sorry. I hope you got through that lonely hour and a half with a sugary tea and a chocolate digestive. I hope you know that you are amazing and your babe will love you no less.
Your little man will be so proud of his mum for going to work and for helping to keep fort.
I felt your heart strings being pulled and I know how hard it is, remember to be kind to yourself.
Love and hugs. I’m sorry they’re late.